A poem for Larry Sanders
Good afternoon folks. Well today as I was browing through twitter dot com, I saw the following tweet from Jon Bois:
Jon Bois (@jon_bois) March 30, 2015
Intrigued, I clicked the link. If you’re unsure as to why I was intrigued, that means you don’t read Jon Bois on SB Nation and you don’t follow Jon on Twitter, which in turn means every choice you’ve made in your life up until this moment has been an incorrect one, and I demand you stop reading this and immediately read the following three things instead, written by Jon:
1) Breaking Madden, a series in which Jon puts the Madden video game through a whole mess of hilarious nonsense, featuring the exploits of Touchdown Tom Brady, BEEFTANK, and a host of other real and fictional football players.
2) The Tim Tebow Chronicles: A Three Million Yard Football Odyssey, a story in six parts about Tim’s adventures in the CFL.
3) NBA Y2K, which is basically an NBA themed clone of the Breaking Madden series, and the impetus of this post.
Anyway. If you click the link in Jon’s tweet (you don’t have to if you don’t want, but you should if you do want to), you’ll see that he’s asking for folks to send him “a poem about an NBA player that has disappointed you.” I chose Larry Sanders, and chose to craft my poem in the style of a Shakesperean sonnet, complete with the rhyming scheme and Iambic pentameter therein prescribed. I hope that you like it.
For Milwaukee did Larry Sanders play,
Nigh seven foot, possessed of lanky arms.
Beloved was he, and made he Bucks fans gay,
Though unto men at nightclubs he caused harm.
But oh! He chose to leave the old hard wood
behind, his mind was in another place,
And never shall the Blocktopus make good
on his contract, nor will he LeBron face.
Now doth he tary and ne’er to return,
Maybe smokin’ doobies, but maybe not.
With untold millions that he did not earn
goes he now, and prepares his Pockets-Hot.
Methinks we shall not see his face again,
but hope do I he gains a mind more sane.